Sometimes the greatest comfort...

...is knowing that I'm not the only one who's hurting.
I'm not the first person to feel this way, and I won't be the last.

"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictons shall be but a small moment;

And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."

"There is sun on the horizon
A candle in a cave
a little bit of color on the next page.
There's always something better
when you look for the light
on a Dark day."

This too shall pass...

Ode to Clara

First of all, I want to start off by saying, let's hear it for music classes! In what other major can you find three credit courses offered for only one credit, but still pack the punch of the three credit workload?! Yay for being a music major!!

Anyways...

As a part of my major I have to take three history-type courses titled Music Lit 1,2, and 3. ("Lit", I'm assuming, is short for literature. Just a guess.) My last semester proved to be completely dull and a chore. This semester, however, has been quite different. I have really enjoyed all of it! Our teacher is very organized, adorable, engaging, and super smart to top it all off. This past week we've been continuing our study of the Romantic era, and as part of it, we learned about Robert Schumann and his wife, Clara.
I just want to give a shout out to Clara Schumann! I think she's super cool.

First of all, she was a child prodigy, sort of like Mozart, but not so much in compositions - mostly performing. She was touring and performing with major musicians of the day by age 9! Then, at 16, she met Robert and they fell in love. For four years she had to battle to keep their relationship and love alive because of her father's disapproval of it all (he didn't want his little girl to have to step out of the lime light for something as silly as marriage). Then, when they did marry (after a lengthy court case and a not-so-happy-ending with her father), she put her music aside to support her husband, and her, eventually, eight children! She remained totally faithful to her husband throughout his career, his severe mental illness, and his death, which left her a widow of eight children at age 37! But, she didn't stop there! To keep his illness and attempted suicide from shadowing his great work, Clara started performing her husbands compositions after his death. This is what she did for most of the remainder of her life, and she lived a long one. She successfully raised all of her children, outlived many of them, and kept Robert Schumann's music alive. She is the main reason why we are so familiar with many of his works today!

So, once again - can I get a little shout-out for Clara? Way to be, girl.

Foreshadows of the Summer

I feel like the Summer is going to be fantastic...BUT, at the same time I can't help but be a little envious. Two of my really good friends are embarking on new adventures for the holiday. One is participating in the Playmill Theater productions, and the other is going to be a performing missionary in Historic Nauvoo, Illinois. I know that what I will be doing may not be as much fun, but is still quite important. However...I still am wishing that I could be going off on my own adventure for the Summer months, instead of doing what I've always done - teaching swim lessons to pay my way through school.

As I expressed these concerns to my two friends, one of them, a certain Alex Trost, said to me,"You know what, Sara?"
"What?"
He looked at me quite intently and said,"I think this Summer is going to be great for you. I can read auras, and even though yours is really black (we're sitting in the Black Box theater, which got it's name for obvious reasons), don't be deceived. It may seem like it foretells of gloom and that your Summer is doomed...but I feel like it will be wonderful."

Thanks, Alex. You are so wise.

Dear Facebook...

It's interesting to think about where we would be without the book of face. s.

I mean... let's sit down and take a closer look for just a moment.

I think we would all be less creepy.
Getting over your ex would be a whole HECK of a lot easier (not that I would know...).
We might actually voice our feelings to real live people, instead of to a lifeless computer screen with pictures of people we may or may not know
We might have real friends.
Relationships would still be validated even if they weren't posted in big black letters with a whimsical heart next to them.
"Happy Birthday" would mean a little more, and would come from those who actually remembered your birthday.
Your reputation would rely more on your personality and less on the creativity of the pictures you post...or the number of "friends" you have.
We would actually have to explain ourselves after we randomly say "life sucks"...or maybe not...maybe next time I'm in a group of people I'll spontaneously throw that one out there and let the other members of the party toss it around for a little bit - leave it up for interpretation.

That being said...I still totally love Facebook. Maybe someday I will get rid of it. But probably not soon.

That is all.

This is me being poetic. ...sort of. Ready. Go.

It's the misunderstood who understand not to judge
It's the grudge undeserved that teaches us to forgive
It's the one who has nothing who knows how to give everything
It's the one told that he can't who edifies and inspires
It's the emptiness and sorrow that teaches us how to smile
It's the eyes that look up that embody humility
It's the cheeks streaked with tears that know the sheer joy of laughter
And it's the soul stained with heartache that truly knows how to love

looking ahead

I love when people randomly inspire me to be better than I could be on my own.

It's good to be reminded through other people just how much Heavenly Father loves me.

Dear friend.

Oh, Procrastination. 

You have been my close friend almost my entire life. But I think it's time for a break. These past few weeks have been kind of tough on me and I just don't think I'm ready for this level of commitment. Honestly. I'm not joking this time, I swear. I think in the long run it'll be better for both of us. I mean, we can both see other people, you know? And I know that for you at least, there are plenty of other people to see. So let's just call it quits. 

Love,

Sara

PS: It's not me, it's you. 

Things on my mind.

Oh...goodness...

Many many things on my mind.

Some of which are too private to put all over the internet. But one thing I will say is this - it was a beautiful day, weather-wise, in Rexburg. A gorgeous 75 degrees, a light breeze making it's way through the trees; the kind of day that lures you out of doors to drink in the sunshine. 

Jessica and I went to Porter Park for the afternoon to talk, and sleep and just be. It was incredible. The thing about Rexburg/everywhere-that's-not-California, is that people can't help but be outside on a day like today. A lovely spring day that just makes you smile is a rare commodity here, whereas in California, or at least Simi Valley, they are a common and every day thing. At the park there were blankets spread here and there with friends and couples catching the rays of the sun, hammocks pulled tight between trees adorned with young students taking their Sunday naps, boys attempting to steal some hearts away with their cheesy overly-practiced love songs. 

It's fantastic really. 

Anyway, the afternoon was wonderful. "Just too marvelous for words." 

i thank You God for most this amazing day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes  (i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay great happening illimitably earth)  how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any--lifted from the no of allnothing--human merely being doubt unimaginable You?  (now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Daffodils

in time of daffodils(who know

in time of daffodils(who know the goal of living is to grow) forgetting why,remember how in time of lilacs who proclaim the aim of waking is to dream, remember so(forgetting seem) in time of roses(who amaze our now and here with paradise) forgetting if,remember yes in time of all sweet things beyond whatever mind may comprehend, remember seek(forgetting find) and in a mystery to be (when time from time shall set us free) forgetting me,remember me  ee cummings

Hah!

Can we talk about how the guy who sits next to me in my Book of Mormon class sent me a random text about an hour ago asking me if I will go on a blind date with his best friend?? Oh but, don't worry, his best friend is a total "stud". Well I just have one question: If he's such a stud, why does he need his friend to set him up on a blind date??

Just a question.

Haha. This should be super entertaining.

Who am I kidding?

It's not like I have time for a boyfriend anyway. haha. Silly Sara.

Remember that one time...

When all of Sara's roommates had boyfriends (some even had two) and Sara felt like the odd ball out whenever they were all over?? 

Awkward....

I've never been good at dealing with these types of situations.

What to do...

What do you do when you want to pray about something but you're scared to because you're scared of what the answer might be???

Song of the week...

It's so hard to say goodbye...

You know, not to say that SoCal ever has "bad" weather, but it figures that some of the best would just start to come the week before I go back to school in, you guessed it, Rexburg, Idaho. Funny I find myself wishing to stay, when just a month ago I was feeling like time was passing at a glacial pace! But then that's how it always is, yes? Life never goes the way you want it to, nor the way you expect it to. The only thing I can do is go with it, wherever it decides to take me, and love it. Try to love every moment, and learn from those that are just too difficult to love. Trying to do anything else just gets too discouraging. Besides, there are good things about going back to school that do balance out the bad.

1. Make fun all you want, I am so excited to do my own grocery shopping again. : ) There's something so exciting about going to Broulim's, picking and choosing my own menu for the next few weeks, and purchasing it all on my own. (If you are worried about my shopping interests, don't fret for too long. I'm sure my love for grocery shopping will fade once the money being spent is my own.)

2. The social aspect. "What?! Sara isn't social. Tha-That's ridiculous! Last I heard she doesn't even have any friends."

3. School. Oh my goodness...I never thought I'd see the day... I am actually excited to start learning some new academic novelties! 

4. Late night dance parties. Give me an ipod, some open space - good to go. (Hey...give me a break. It's Rexburg, alright?)

5. New apartment. Girl's dormitories?? - Good riddance. 

6. Rexburg temple right up the hill! What else do you need?? I mean, honestly??

So, it's true - I am slightly excited to go back to school again. And thinking about it, I know it's what I need right now. Even though I will be missing my Bethany : ( ...Richarson, that is. I was very unaware how much I would be deprived of in Rexburg without my lovely, beautiful, and utterly fantastic roommate! The truth? - I'm heartbroken. Who knew you could create such a friendship in such a short amount of time? But alas, as I've said before, life goes on. And if all goes according to plan (crossing my fingers) our paths will cross again this coming fall. Until then, it's on to my second semester up at BYU-I! It'll be a crazy last week here in Simi Valley. Hopefully one to remember. : )

"Good Morning, Good Morning, to You!"

Maybe not 1AM like in Singin' in the Rain, but close. On Saturday I had a hair appointment for a close friend who was sealed in the LA temple this morning. Can you say "Holy early in the morning, Batman?!" Try 3:30 in the morning. Yep. We got going at 4AM with lots and lots of curls and hairspray, and didn't start to put the finishing touches on her makeup until 7AM. Right on time. Good thing I love to do hair...and I love her. : ) She was such a beautiful bride! I'm so happy for her and Walt. Congrats, you two! 

By Immersion

Yesterday something incredible happened: Stash Dabrowski was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There aren't words for me to describe how I felt and how I feel now. Stash is an amazing person. In his welcome the bishop talked about what a great guy he is and how little he had to change in order to be baptized. I have to say I completely agree. It's been such an edifying experience to be a part of Stash's conversion, to say the least. I know that yesterday was the beginning of Stash's new life and I am so proud to have been able to watch how the gospel has improved his life thus far. Having him as a friend is and has been such a blessing to me and so many others. Thanks, Stashua! You're the greatest.

UN-believable!

Good news! - I quit my job at the recycling plant today, unknown to my supervisor! Rude, right? I know. But wait. Don't judge yet. Let me explain-

So for anyone who talks to me on a regular basis, you know I was not too fond of this job in the first place. It's early in the morning, the other workers freak me out, I think my supervisor secretly hates me, it smells, it's tedious, boring. Okay, you get the point. Now for the punchline: I, along with all the other employees, have not been paid for about a month now! Awesome. Love it. 

...No. Not so much.

Well on top of that, I got up yesterday morning, dragged myself out of my warm and comfortable bed and started to prepare myself mentally for the day ahead of me: four and a half hours at recycling, four at the after school club. I can do this. 

So I get in the truck and start the oh-so-wonderful drive to the oh-so-beautiful San Fernando Valley. Now for those of you who don't know how traffic is here, it should only take me about ten minutes to get to where I need to go in The Valley. Here is the harsh reality: it takes me about 2o-25 minutes to get to New Earth recycling plant; about five to seven minutes on the freeway, and anywhere from 10 - 20 minutes weaving my way down Topanga Canyon until I get to my lovely job. Okay so continuing my story, I finally do reach my destination about fifteen minutes late (hey, they're not paying me on time, I don't get there on time) only to find out that I'm not needed.

"Oh, you didn't get a phone call?"

"Um...no."

"Oh, all the other employees did."

Awesome. And still no paycheck.

Needless to say, this was kind of the last straw for me. To make an already long story longer, I resolved to quit yesterday. I don't need this! : )

Even though I haven't been treated in the most respectable manner, I thought I would be courteous and at least come in to work today and let everyone know,"hey, I don't need this. This is my last day." On my drive over I'm kind of nervous; I've never quit a job before, I mean I've only ever had one other job to begin with. But I'm determined so I suck it up and brace myself. 

"One more turn," I think to myself. I grab the steering wheel and pull it to the left. I grab it again just about to turn into the parking lot when - What the...?! 

You have got to be kidding me. The gate is locked. Empty lot. No phone call. And no paycheck. And you guessed it-no more recycling job for me! 

Really?

Oh My Gosh!

No doubt about it! I have had no time to tell you all about Lionel Hampton! Needless to say, I had a BLAST! So much fun. I won't bore you with all the details of what happened when, who said what and where... I will say that I learned a lot. 

It's amazing how simply listening to a few concerts can improve your musicianship. I don't know if you know who Benny Green is, but you should. INCREDIBLE pianist. Anywho, yes. Listening, as I have so often heard, is the key. (My high school choir teacher will be so proud). But really, I didn't even really realize what a difference a few days of fabulous concerts performed by incredible musicians had made until I was sitting on an airplane on my way to Seattle early Saturday morning. I felt empowered, strangely enough, by the things I had heard and seen throughout the week. I know that I have to do something in music. Honestly, I don't know if it's necessarily because I'm good at it. I just don't know what else I would do. These are the thoughts that ran through my head as I walked out of the Moscow, Idaho airport, which is the size of an elementary school cafeteria. 

I did feel very empowered that day, and for several days afterward. Maybe it's mostly because I had gotten to sing on stage with Bobby McFerrin the night before, in front of a fairly large audience. It was incredible, to say the least. 

I want to write more. I really do. But this is long as it is. And registration is not going the way I planned so...The End. : )