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It's hard for me to express how this video makes me feel. Probably because I'm a "musician", too. (Such a loaded word - musician. I don't know if I am one or not, but I'm working on it)
Music has always resonated in me. & doesn't it in all of us? However, there's a special pull towards music in my life. There's a spark that's ignited when I hear a good jazz tune, an inspiring symphony, or a profound ballad by some obscure artist who's laid their heart on the table in hopes that the world will take notice. But lately it's been a little rough in the music department for me. I've lacked that inspired feeling. The joy was slowly draining & the rush I usually get from performing wasn't there.
Until recently. & I think this video nails it.
As mentioned previously, I'm going on a mission. Soon. Very soon, in fact. & I'm excited for the next year and a half of my life. I know it will be wonderful! & crazy hard. But mostly wonderful. I know that to most, giving up a year and a half of your life, especially when you're 21 & trying to pursue music, is ludicrous. Who does that?! As a good friend of mine told me when he found out I was going on a mission - I should be "knocking down doors" at my age! To this friend, who maybe still doesn't quite understand why I'm leaving, I would say: but I am going to be knocking down doors. Just not for auditions or talent agencies. For what I believe. Out of context it does sound a little crazy. A little ridiculous. But this crazy, ridiculous & amazing religion that I believe in, has made me who I am. A lot of people in the past have somehow separated me from my religion in their minds. This usually happens when said people do not agree with or necessarily like my beliefs. What they don't realize is...you cannot separate me from my beliefs. I am my beliefs. My beliefs are me. I literally would be a different person without them. They don't know that, but I do.
So music. What does my religion have to do with music? I'm going to switch the roles of Brandon and me for a moment. (It's fine - Brandon Flowers & I are on a first name basis) Now, obviously I'm not a famous rockstar, & I'm not married with children, & I'm not a boy. But I love music! & I want to make it a prominent part of my life (among other things). For a little while in the recent past I went through my own little mini Dark Ages. I started to doubt myself, & therefore I started to doubt God. (Ouch, that's hard to write). I didn't realize it then, & I definitely would never admit it if I did, but I know now that's exactly what I was doing. Then I decided to serve a mission! & like Brandon, I discovered there's a "fire still burning" in there! For Brandon, at this point in his life, his fire fuels his family. It fuels his love as a father and as a husband. For me, my fire fuels my passion for music. The closer I get to November 9, the more I want to sing, to play, to compose. The closer I get to November 9, the more I want to be my best self for my Heavenly Father & part of that, for me, is developing my love and passion for music. & why not? Doesn't the bible say,"The Lord is my strength and song"?
So, I guess the best way to wrap this up is to say - My name is Sara Pulsipher. I'm 21 years old. I'm a singer. I'm a performer. & I'm a Mormon.
3 comments:
:)
You got your big sister crying. I am so proud of who you are and what you are doing. I love you!
There's nothing more inspiring than a mission. I don't think I could have been the kind of man I needed to be to marry Alisha or get into UT law school if I hadn't gone. Dedicating yourself for 18 months to what is most important to God will teach you how to dedicate yourself to what is most important to you.
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