You're Never Alone

This semester I have been taking a New Testament class, and I am oh so grateful that I decided to take it. It has been my source of strength on many a rough day. As part of our final project we were asked to pick a topic and spend time researching it and reading the scriptures about it, etc. At the end of all this research, we are to write a talk on it. I chose prayer as my topic. I have been trying to earnestly say my morning and evening prayers...something I have, sadly, really struggled with for quite some time.

Anyway, as I was doing my research today, I came across this video on Mormon Messages. I don't think it's any secret that this semester has been tough. It's definitely kicked my butt on more than one occasion. However, throughout all the beatings and the constant feeling of defeat, there have been moments that have strengthened me and pulled me off the ground and back onto my feet. It's a little daunting to know that I will have so many more trials in my life that will make this one seem like a walk in the park, but if I have learned anything, it's this - we are never alone. With God, nothing is impossible. We can do it!

So to those of you struggling, emotionally, physically, mentally, whatever it is, I say this: You are never alone. Remember - you were sent here by a loving Heavenly Father, and you failing is not a part of His plan. Don't let it be a part of yours.

Hold your own, know your name...

I love my ipod, because sometimes I put it on shuffle, and sometimes it reminds me of songs I used to love, and I remember to love them again. Here is one such song:

Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz

Music & Pitch

"Pitch is perceived in different ways under different musical conditions"

...ain't that the truth?

What to write, what to write...

I decided that I love blogging so much I just want to write. But...unfortunately, I can't think of anything.

My latest project? - helping put together a benefit concert for Japan. It's somewhat stressful, but in a good way. It feels good to be creating something with people, FOR people. I love it. I must say I think about it almost every minute of every day.

PS: Does anyone have any good insights as to how to get poor college students to donate to relief fund?

Dear Reader

Funny story: I never ever ever thought I would be a blogger. EVER. (Can I emphasize that more?)

Yet, here I am... There is something about blogging that is different than a journal. (But before we get into that, where does the term "blog" originate? Oh, don't worry - I'll tell you. I just googled it. A blend of the term web log. Cool, huh? I guess. It's not too terribly original. Oh, well.) Anyway, in a journal you write all of your secrets. You pour out your hopes, your desires, your fears (however ridiculous they may be), and you leave it there. Not a soul knows about it except you. No one will ever make fun of you for feeling the way you did at that moment when words and good company couldn't comfort you. It's a vault. There's no lock or key, but everyone just knows that you don't read someone else's journal.

A blog is...how do I explain it? A blog is, simply, a diary for the public. You don't share you deepest and "most appalling" secrets. Well, unless you do - which is weird, by the way. A blog is for vain people, like me, who want to write about their lives and feel like someone besides their small circle of friends know about it. In a way, it lifts a seemingly insignificant and simply-led life out of obscurity. Who is reading this? I don't know. But it makes me feel good to think that someone might be. They might even be enjoying it.

Isn't that nice?

Anne-girl

I finished. I finally finished the Anne of Green Gables series, and can I just say, they fulfill every heart hunger in me? When I die, I know I want to meet L.M. Montgomery. I can honestly say that she is a wise woman. She must truly be a "kindred spirit".

Maybe it's just the romantic in me. Maybe it's my love of other beautiful worlds that are not my own, but I love this series. Fictional? - yes. A little dramatic sometimes? - maybe. But so true! - and sometimes, so exactly what I needed to hear. This last book especially. I don't think it's coincidence that I ended up reading Rilla of Ingleside this particular semester. I don't think it's coincidence that I found myself connecting with Rilla's experiences in a very real and personal way. Not that our lives are the same by any means. I never have, and probably never will, go through all of the things she had to endure in just the four years that this book covers. However, every girl, at some point, goes through a time when she realizes she can be, and needs to be, more than she is. I think that's what Rilla felt, and I feel that way now. I can do more than I'm doing, and I need to do it!

Another revelatory moment for me - life is not always perfect (I know, you're shocked). In fact, I would say it never is. But, "the Kingdom of Heaven - and of love - and of happiness - doesn't depend on externals". I would say we decide how perfect life is by how we react to it, and what we put into it. These books have helped solidify that in me.

It's easy for me - little baby, naive me - to get discouraged trying to look to the future for answers and seeing only "a bend" in my road. It's a bend that I can't see around, yet, because I'm not there yet. I can't honestly say that I've ever had a clear view of what the path in front of me looks like, but I had an idea, and it all seems very confusing now. But I'm learning to replace fear and uncertainty with hope, hope for the future - a beautiful and promising future. I think Anne says it best -

"When I left Queen's my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend, Marilla."

"Oh, the places you'll go"...

I want to be SO many things!

When you realize all the things you aren't and wish you were, it is so hard to focus on the things you are. But I can't help it! I have so many "want-to-be's"!

For example, I want to be:

+ more thoughtful
+ smarter
+ happier
+ more spiritual
+ less self-absorbed
+ more confident
+ more active
+ more productive
+ nicer
+ motivated
+ determined
+ a performer
+ a better friend
+ less (a lot less) judgmental

...and the list goes on and on.

I have hope for the future. Realizing you have the power to change is a great thing! I can be these things! I just wish I could be them now.

Dear heart...

That's enough for now. Let's take a break.

PS: I'm such a baby. Hahaha

Sugar, flour, eggs, milk - the ingredients of life

Sometimes roommates totally suck.

On the other hand, sometimes they're one of the greatest blessings in your life. This just happens to be one of those "coincidental" semesters when I have the greatest roommates of ALL time! I love them with all of my hearts.

Tonight was crepe party night. Inspired by none other than the beautiful, talented Amber Warnock! She had her very first crepe tonight! Can you believe it?!

Anyway, the night was a huge success and everyone (I hope) went home full and happy.

Other highlights of the day? -

• Temple-ing with all the roommates
• Having a heart to heart with Mom and Dad
• Seeing Kelsey Robey and her lovely fiance Zach Atherton
• Finishing Julie and Julia with Megan

Overall, a successful day.

Momma Said

Today mom re-confirmed, as mothers so often do, an already known truth for me:
journal writing is important.

Journal writing helps us to recall knowledge that we've gained throughout our lives, through experiences we've had. Journals help us remember when our brains, or our hearts, don't want us to.

So what lesson did I learn today? What great truth have I drawn out of today's insignificant little happenings?

I'm not perfect. & that's okay. We'll just take it one day at a time.